Sunday, March 25, 2007

Uterus for sale!

Does anyone need a uterus? I really don't want or need mine anymore! Honestly, it's just a major pain in the ass!

I went to the GYN recently to figure out why my uterus is being so annoying and she decided she wanted a little piece of it! WTF?! TODAY??? NOW???? (Thank God I shaved my legs!) How the hell are you going to get it?

Needless to say, it was a VERY uncomfortable procedure that I am not anxious to repeat.

I know I have had four children. Many people have seen the hoo-hoo, but under the circumstances, they were going to give me a pretty little baby at the end, so it certainly justified the teams of doctors, nurses, interns, janitors that had to see what's going on down there. But in reality, I am VERY modest, and VERY shy. (I will be soon fitted in my Amish clothing, surely!)

So imagine my utter horror when a BOY walks in with the doctor to assist in the biopsy! A young boy! Ok, don't be a pervert people, he was probably in his 20's. I must have been staring daggers at this poor boy because he never looked ONCE! He kept his back turned and was practically throwing the instruments over his shoulder to the doctor. Good boy! Then he walked off with my little uterus pieces and I never saw him again.

Yesterday I took a percocet and had a nice little nap. Percocet is my new BFF.

23 comments:

Antonio said...

So you are saying that your.. ahem, "hoo-hoo" has grown so unappealing that 20 year olds turn away? If I were you, I would force that little cunt (the 20 year-old) to look at you r "hoo-hoo" (what, do you have an owl in there?) as if it were 4th and 1 and they were going for it.

Monica said...

"Look!!! LOOOK!!!! It's a VAGINA!!!"

Anonymous said...

Hi, I'm interessted in buying it... how much? I'm serious! One of my beloved co-worker is having hers removed so she needs a replacement part...she out of warranty so we can't go back to the manufacturer... I think she would love the Christmas present!

Tx!

V

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